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November 29, 2010 / Candice

YAY!! RECOUNTS!! (And other things that suck in MN politics.)

Shoot me. I know, I know, we need to make sure every vote is counted. Blah blah blah…. I GET IT!! What I don’t get is why Minnesota has to suck so bad at electing public officials. Mark Dayton? REALLY?! We’re a state of terrible human beings and don’t deserve to be part of the United States any longer. As our punishment, we should join Canada until we get our crap together. Maybe that’ll teach us a lesson.

We push for Mondale over Reagan, we elected Mr. Conspiracy Theory himself, Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura to be our Governor, we elected Al ‘I Write Jokes For Playboy’ Franken to the US freaking Senate. What’s next? Vince Vaughn for MN Secretary of State? C’mon people!! The scary thing is, we almost make California look sane. At least the Golden State is consistent in their crazy. Minnesota gives us a few years of “Oh thank god!” then we’re back on the “W.T.F?!” train again.

I wish I understood it fully. I wish I knew why Minnesotans are so apolitical yet they consistently show up to vote only to pick a name based on nothing more than name recognition. Who cares that Mark Dayton is going to try to raise our taxes and inflate government? I guess the only good thing is that we have a GOP controlled legislature, so they’ll slow down Mark Dayton’s “Happy Time With Other People’s Money” events. But I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if the GOP didn’t win so many seats? That thought alone freaks me out.

Sure, it’s great-ish that our state government is divided. It’ll be just like the last few years only reversed. GOP’ers will be crying foul because Mark Dayton “is being a jerk just because he can!!” DFL’ers will be cheering him on saying “YEAH MARK! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!” The newspapers will be oh so confused. And bloggers will grow tired of the constant bullshit coming out of St. Paul. (That last one is just wishful thinking. We all know bloggers need there to be boat loads of bullshit otherwise there wouldn’t be anything to write about. Plus, lets be realistic for a minute, Dayton as Governor is like Biden as Vice President, I can’t wait for the Fail to start falling out of his mouth.)

Oh but of course, all of the above scenarios are dependent on the fact that Mark Dayton wins the recount. I’m here to call it, he will. Emmer might gain a few more votes, but not enough to overcome his 8,000+ vote deficit. I guess we’ll find out in a couple weeks. I plan to ignore most of the recount crap. The gang of MN bloggers have that covered and to be honest, I was tired of recount talk on November 3rd, so I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t care.

Maybe one day Minnesota won’t suck, but I feel like this state is locked in some sort of Fail Destiny. Destined to be the laughing stock of American politics, well…after California and New York. But they’re both much more sad than funny.

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